This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and I know a lot of you guys have experienced this before as well. Bascially I’ve been thinking of how to cope both in and out of character when a beloved player (someone who was well integrated into the site) disappears or leaves for good. With a board as large as ours it’s something that does happen, it even happens with smaller boards but doesn’t tend to have as much of an impact. I’ve found that AO is so wonderful and it’s so easy to get characters involved in many things across the board that when those characters disappear it can be devastating for all those involved (mostly because we miss our fallen brothers and sisters 
)
This has come to mind most recently with the ‘disappearance’ of Shana (not to say that she’s more important than anyone else who has left recently, I was just more involved with her characters than others) I was thinking about how much this actually affected my characters. Three out of her five characters were rather deeply involved with my own. Bella had just become Xavier’s girlfriend, Serenity Lee was Dahlia’s best friend and we were working on Penny Lane having a back story with Cillian to get him more solid and involved beyond being just a teacher.
With no sign of a return and with the game obviously moving on I’ve been facing some dilehmas and had to make some changes to my own characters storylines (mainly the explosion between Xavier and Peyton. Bella was supposed to be the catalyst) So I was wondering where to go from here and how everyone else has dealt with this sort of obstacle in the past. Would you go on with your characters lives as if they had never been involved with these people? Casually write them out of the storyline? Or continue on writing them in every now and then as if they’re still there but are more of a non played NPC now?
Ugh. When a person leaves AO, or disappears, there will always be those plots that I wish we could have finished. I can name plenty, really, but the first ones that come to mind are as follows:
Bea had a best friend, Zoey McAdams, before Kam left. She also had only one crush, Finn Vipond (who went inactive as soon as he joined, pfffff) who was actually easily replaced with Erin Harper, but I digress.
Then, she was supposed to begin a relationship with Charlie Robards before… Hmm… I think it was the first Hiatus I took from AO.
Razzy had a close friend named Kelyn, I believe, who he was supposed to snog and taint. Pammie, his player, also adopted Audrey Chancelier, but then ended up disappearing.
And I think we all remember Trent’s first bromance with Jasper Quinn. To say I miss Jaydin would be an understatement.
It’s heart-wrenching. And depressing. There’s nothing I loathe more than having a plot fall through. I left AO twice. Both due to misunderstood intentions. And I came back both times because of those plots. I hate it when a plot falls through… And I hate it more when I’m the reason for it. I’ve seen what happens when my characters simply sit there, untouched. Demetri lost his job and the girl I promised him to got a boyfriend, Razzy suddenly went away without notice because Erin couldn’t just act like he was still there, Mystique was suddenly being ignored by her boyfriend, and Bea’s love, Vincent, was being considered for retirement.
But that’s how we have to adjust, I guess. When Lyssa disappeared, I did as she did and broke apart Trent and Mysti. And she came back as soon as I promised Shana that Trent will comfort Bellatrix now that she’s alone. It’s a shame, really. We both had to shimmy our way around our new plots.
If only we had all the time we needed… All the freedom we could dream of… Just to make AO blossom and work. It’s upsetting.
I do completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve found myself with a couple of my characters in a holding pattern or left trying to figure out a what next because of inactivity. I’m still trying to figure it out with one my characters because if the missing person in question does make it back I love their plot and I want it to continue, but the fact that the player has never been terribly reliable makes me really nervous.
For me, I tend to step back and talk to friends on IM a bit. A lot of times me RP friends will have suggestions or possible new connections. I don’t like using the cbox for that because I think there’s too much action. I also think the plot board gets ignored a lot so I tend to stay away from that as well.
For me I just step back and have a little fun with them and see what develops. That’s the best you can do.
Sudden mild epidemic of dragon pox or something that would mean they’d either spend a considerable while in the hospital wing (or considering that’s been burnt down, hasn’t it?) sent home to recuperate.
It is difficult when players vanish – for a variety of reasons. You just have to do your best to contact them, and then move on. In honesty, ones that you cannot seem to find a reply from are easier t move on with, than those who claim hiatus or any potentially long term delay, which just turns into abandonment anyhow, because you feel partially obliged to wait.
I have definitely experienced this several times, Amberlee, and I’ve dealt with it in all the ways you mentioned. The player of Grace’s best friend left unexpectedly and that was unfortunate because we had just come off a series of really good posts establishing their friendship. I’m still reluctant to write Bethan out completely from Grace’s storyline because I can’t bring myself to say it never existed. So nowadays I make a casual reference to her and I tend to make it seem like she and Grace have grown apart, especially since she’s becoming closer to others.
Another lost connection came with a love interest for Grace. This was a shame too but I was able to kind of explain away why things didn’t work between them since it was so early on in the development.
I know it sounds bad, but sometimes I find myself reluctant to make far reaching plots for fear that these types of situations will happen. But I suppose in the end, I still love to plot and go out of my way to do so with others who are excited like I am. I worry about the consequences later….and sometimes, the change in the storyline often stretches you as a writer.
As far as the personal connection with the other players, I think this is perhaps the most profound loss of all. I may not always say as much openly, but I really do care a lot about the other players here. I feel as though we come to know each other as our own little loveable, geeky crew that sits together at lunch, so to speak.
We live through the highs and lows and I find myself cheering everyone on and feeling inspired by all the wonderful talents. I come away from AO feeling enriched and happy.
In the words of Ke$ha, Your Love Is My Drug. Sappy, but it’s true.